Dealing With Sensory Issues….

It IS going to happen.

Bank on it.

The fidgeting, the problems with fabric next to their skin, getting them to calm down.  We dealt with all of these issues with R.J.  To some degree, we still do.

In many instances, the older children get, the more likely they are to outgrow these issues to some degree or develop their own coping mechanisms.  But in the meantime, how do you steady down this child?

The answer for most is sensory diet.

Sensory diet is a series of activities that provide an ASD child/young person with the sensory input they need to deal with the stresses of the day.  

We utilized several activities that helped R.J. calm down and focus.   Light brushing with dry surgical scrub brushes (NOT the brushes pre-loaded with beta dyne or iodine), back scratching or rubs, bouncing on a large exercise ball, even bear hugs - "big squeezes" - were all successfully employed; even at age 17, big squeezes from dad are still a favorite source of input.  

When the problem became sitting still for an extended period of time, we found that exercise ball chairs worked beautifully.

These are kids who need input.  They have no sense of where they are in time and space (proprioception), as difficult a concept as that may be to grasp, so they need input that helps them to make that connection and promotes appropriate self-awareness.

Finding the right combination involves a LOT of experimentation, but thankfully, resources are available on the internet to provide YOU with necessary input as well.  Here is one such source:

Sensory Diet Activities

China Dolls And Kid Gloves - Or, How To Avoid Letting Your Special Needs Child Come To Rule The Roost….

I was an active Transportation Screening Officer with the Transportation Security Administration for four years.  Because of my first-hand experience gained from raising our own son, I was also the unofficial go-to person for many of my co-workers when it came to dealing with special needs travelers.  Many times I had to intervene when co-workers had trouble dealing with such passengers - or their parents, and on many other occasions, I was able to give my co-workers advance notice when I saw special needs passengers coming to the checkpoint.

With very few exceptions, I could spot a special needs passenger almost from the moment they entered the terminal.

Why?

Because of their behavior.

And because of how their parents expected everyone else to act around them.

Now, I don't claim that my wife and I have done everything right since receiving the diagnosis of autism for RJ, but there is one determination we made early on that has, I believe, put us in good stead: we determined, as best we could, to raise RJ as normally as possible.

You see, it has been my observation that many special needs parents, upon receiving the diagnosis of a developmental or physical disability, begin to treat their children like china dolls, handling them with kid gloves.  They accept any and all behavior as normal and acceptable because their child has a disability.

If the child screams, it is allowed.

If the child raids the pantry or refrigerator whenever the mood hits, it is allowed.

If the child becomes violent or abusive, everyone else modifies their behaviors in an effort to placate the child - and they expect everyone else around them to do so as well.

In many cases, they are selling their child short.

Raising a special needs child "normally" is a huge task.  It requires even more work than is required under "normal" conditions, working with "normal" children.  It requires advanced planning and contingency plans for every social situation until the appropriate behaviors begin to take root.

Most of all, it requires a commitment and determination to remain on course.

It is exhausting.

But it CAN be done.

It took longer than normal to determine the full extent of RJ's autism, because, as the psychologist conducting the evaluations observed, many of the normal autistic behaviors they expect to see weren't there. There were no screaming jags, no meltdowns.  RJ cooperated (for the most part) with the therapist, with few efforts to get up and wander off.  And while she still had to deal with a level of echolalia (repetition of words/phrases), stimming (repetitive body movements), and perseveration (fixations on objects or subjects, such as RJ's fixation on all things pertaining to trains), his behaviors were actually very normal.

How, she asked, had we accomplished this?

We told her about our early determination to raise RJ as normally as possible, with the same kinds of behavior expectations as we have for his younger, non-autistic brother.  We explained how we worked to establish our behavior expectations, using verbal instruction and visuals to teach and reinforce those behaviors, and how we dealt with behaviors that were unacceptable, disciplining when those other efforts to produce acceptable behaviors were not heeded.  Over time we became better able to distinguish between "normal" behaviors and those associated with autism.

And we learned something.

With consistent effort and patience, even the behaviors associated with autism could be modified and diminished over time.

Today, RJ is a junior in high school.  He is in an ASD classroom learning from a modified curriculum, and this year he became the first autistic student from his school and - as far as we have been able to ascertain - from our entire West Michigan school district to join his school's swim team.  At first glance, most people do not realize he has autism.  He presents as a well-behaved, well-mannered, affectionate young man.  It is only as they speak with him and spend time with him that his autism becomes apparent.

We have not arrived, there are still behavioral lessons for RJ to learn, but our efforts have produced results that are beneficial to RJ, our family, and those around him.  

Most significantly, RJ does not rule the roost.  

It begins at the same place where Daniel, in the Old Testament, began:  "… Daniel purposed in his heart…," Daniel 1:8.

Your determination not to raise your child with kid gloves will pay off in significant ways.